The Three Laws of Xboxtics

The other day I got a very important email from GameFly about the Xbox 360. Here's a little part I liked.

As you know, the Xbox 360 is a high-end gaming console that uses state-of-the-art technology. As stated in the user's manual, it is important that the console not be moved in any way while a disc is in the tray. The following movements, among others, may cause damage to the console and/or result in scratches to the disk:

1. Moving the console from horizontal to vertical position and vice versa.
2. Picking the console up.
3. Shifting the console in any way while a disc is in the tray.

Now, I understand the need to be thorough. You want people to take care of the discs. But still, does anyone else find this list a little redundant?

It says in the paragraph that "it is important that the console not be moved in any way while a disc is in the tray" so why do they find it necessary to create an numbered list? Also, technically speaking, these rules, or 'laws' we might say, are in conflict with each other. What if the system falls over on its own? Should we not prevent it from falling? That would violate their second law and their third law.

That made me think that maybe this should be interpreted like the Three Laws of Robots, per Issac Asimov. So, with that in mind, here's my revised list for GameFly.

1. The console may not be rotated from vertical to horizontal or, through inaction, be allowed to rotate from vertical to horizontal.
2. The console must not be picked up, except where such action would conflict with the First Law.
3. The console must not be shifted in any way as long as such lack of shifting does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

You see? Much better. We've got all of our bases covered now, and the list is no longer redundant. The entire message is still redundant, since the preceding paragraph tells you not to move the console in any way.

We can fix that by applying a Zeroth law, as in robotics: The console may not be moved in any way, or, by inaction, be allowed to move in any way. The remaining laws would be modified to not be in conflict with the Zeroth law.

There! Perfect. The email makes sense now, and is not even a little redundant. Now, I'm going to back to setting my Xbox 360 on fire.